Three steps to more effective decision-making by looking within
We all have decisions to make. From what we are going to eat for dinner to more life-changing decisions about jobs, homes, relationships.
I’ve been continuously in a hustle of decision-making this year and finally adhere. I’m enjoying the ride of choosing — are you?
From moving around every few months to splitting with my partner at the start of the pandemic, my decisions have determined every step I take towards becoming more self-aware.
So here’s how to make crucial decisions (not say your choice of dinner isn’t essential!) and stop your worry by following these three steps I take daily.
“You can’t make decisions based on fear and the possibility of what might happen.” ― Michelle Obama
Learn your values
Take self-leadership to start making your decisions. Of course, it’s great to talk to someone else, but knowing your values in life will already bring you a step further forward when talking this out to your coach, therapist, friend.
As Mark Manson says: “All tough decisions are essentially about weighing values.”
However, there are many values from finance to feelings. So how are you supposed to weigh everything equally?
Don’t worry. We hold too much pressure on our system of decision-making.
Sometimes taking risks will allow you to know what you truly value.
For me, I know my value lies in bringing value in what I do. I am a writer, well-being coach, yoga teacher, to spread peace. This is what I consider to be my value when it comes to long-term success.
For now, I understand short-term failures are functional for me to learn from.
Another significant value for me is my boundaries. So in my relationship, I felt my limits were being tested, and we were both bringing other underlying emotions into the contact that we had first to sort out ourselves.
So how do you learn your values?
Write down how you feel.
Start to breathe and look within.
Please pay attention to how you speak with others when they ask you about things you are unsure of.
Take note of your body language and feel into your body.
All these exercises come with building up self-awareness. The next step on how to make important decisions and stop your worry thus means you must:
Listen to you inner voice
What’s all this chat about going within? I feel you. I am a firm believer we must look within to find out how to make decisions. Your intuition will say a lot to you through the power of emotions.
Ever feel fear or anxiety about a decision? We all do. This is your initial reaction to anything new — fear. It is protecting us in a way, but if you find out how to use it to your potential, then fear can show you a lot about what you want and don’t want.
I go with my heart. But how do I do that?
Following my heart means taking risks, failing and trying again, finding what feels good and going with that. When you listen to your heart, you become more in tune with what life has to offer and what path is yours to follow.
So the second tip on how to make important decisions and stop your worry is:
“Trust your instincts, and make judgements on what your heart tells you. The heart will not betray you.”― David Gemmell, Fall of Kings
Finally, but probably most important:
Treat yourself with compassion
Any decision you make is OK. In other words, don’t pressure yourself so much on making decisions because then trust is lost. When you treat yourself with compassion and care, you become more adjusted in making decisions.
When I know that everything is going to be OK, no matter what decision I make, it fills me with hope. I am sure that whatever decision I make, I will flow with it. Your decisions determine your actions, so become aware of how you feel.
For example, the process of deciding where I am going to live next came from me treating myself like a child. One step at a time. In Berlin, searching for a place is like a full-time job, but I put all my energy into trusting whatever decision I make will be the right one.
With that in mind, choosing the flat, I will move into next month came naturally. In my heart, I knew it was meant to be by the feeling of comfort that came around when going inside and meeting the lovely lady whose place it is. It felt right. Even if it isn’t, I know there are always options because no matter what decision you make isn’t necessarily the wrong one — that’s life showing you lessons.
“The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience.” — Deepak Chopra
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