The other day, I was coaching someone about making decisions. I’ve always been that person who is pretty decisive but still says “I don’t mind” when being polite. When I was coaching my client, I realised why most people couldn’t make decisions… — because of the influence of other people. So here’s how not to doubt your decision-making skills and believe in yourself.
Stop thinking about what other people think.
“The people that mind don’t matter, and the people that matter don’t mind.” -Dr. Seuss
I always have to come back to this quote. When my client was getting frustrated at not going to the shop and deciding what to buy during her grocery shop, she ended up thinking about what people think. Put: Who cares? Are you going to let people’s opinions control your decisions? Most of the time, they probably aren’t even thinking about what you are thinking anyway — it is your mind playing tricks on you.
So don’t let your mind jinx you into thinking that people care so much because they probably don’t, and all that matters is your decision for yourself at the end of the day. Remember, you are your number one priority. If anyone at all to care about when making decisions, it should be the people that matter to you, which brings us on to the second point on how not to doubt your decision-making skills:
Start thinking about what the people you love think.
“Somewhere someone is thinking of you. Someone is calling you an angel.” — Henry Rollins
Believe it or not, someone thinks you are a blessing. One of my best friends calls me her angel and says that she gives thanks for me every day. The fact that I’ve helped coach her helped her with my meditation course, and through my books, of course, makes my day. It’s like she’s my number one fan and she keeps me going actually. When I feel I can’t decide what to do in my business or I feel too down to do anything, I think of her waiting for me to write something to spur her on.
Basically, when you can’t make a decision, what I'm trying to say is think of the people you love and what they might say. You know them better, and surely you can come up with what they would suggest at that moment, or even ask them! I am sure the people you love are only a second away through the tap of your phone and the ones that matter won’t mind you asking what they think about something because they care.
Lastly, how to not doubt your decision-making skills comes from remembering a quote that you can take through with you to make you feel more confident.
Come up with a phrase or quote to remember.
“Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it.” — David Starr Jordan
When you make a decision, the whole world isn’t depending on you, I promise! My client was pressuring herself a lot when coming to make decisions, which would stop her in her tracks. I’ve covered this before — here’s how to stop pressuring yourself.
When you take the pressure away and instead think of a quote that may boost your confidence, it may help with decision-making. This quote could be something that your parents used to tell you when you were little. For example, my client came up with a good one that her dad used to tell her before an exam and if she didn’t know the answer to a question:
“Your parents aren’t going to love you any less.”
I thought it was beautiful and a brilliant quote to take through with you when you don’t know how to make a decision. So there you have it — three ways to not doubt your decision-making skills! If you have important decisions to make and are worrying, read this.