Updated: Feb 19
People are always out there to get you down and ruin your day. Grumpy faces, sarcastic comments or plain rudeness rivals with your good mood and can make your energy levels drop instantly.
You have a choice not to let negative people ruin your day, trust me.
I suddenly turned to tears the other day when I let someone's negative energy get to me. Being spoken to rudely for no reason (she was supposed to provide me with assistance in bureaucracy matters) triggered me and tears came to my eyes. People are so negative these days, especially in big cities like Berlin.
But it's anywhere you go. Unfortunately, you can't escape negative people, yet you can dodge the effect of tipping your day or life upside down. There are many ways how to handle them, but here are three of mine to not let negative people ruin your day by awakening your heart to harmony through self-awareness based on my recent life experiences in Berlin:
Your reaction is crucial in the game of negative energy being thrown at you. Your day cannot be ruined unless you retaliate with rage. Don't allow negative people to dictate your emotions, but distance yourself from them. Don't let people pull you into their storms, but pull them into your peace. By not retaliating, your life and day can be much more peaceful. But it is easier said than done; I get it, life cannot be full of grace and gratitude every minute of the day!
I got wound up, but I also put that down to the Greek in my blood (haha). Ok, that’s an excuse. However, it's human nature. People are people, so don't be shocked if someone is out to get you, just try not to take it personally. We all have bad days, but negative people make life harder, I know.
Research shows anger is one of the most contagious emotions. Once you know this, you can work on it. Perfect your peaceful and positive perspective by working on your actions and becoming self-aware. Remember action increases perspective and actions speak louder than words, right? Become aware and show yourself care - here are some actions you can take.
So, this old lady was one of those negative people that expected you to tell her the answers when she was the one supposed to be resolving your enquiries. When I didn't have the right documents, she rolled her eyes, raised her hands and voice in fury. I didn't retaliate, but I made a sarcastic comment (don't remember now). I held back from making a big deal about it and let go because I was done with her! In life, some people don't deserve your time.
Read that again:
Some people don't deserve your time.
If a negative person isn't serving you, then get rid. Walk off. Switch off. Do whatever is in your power to not retaliate with the negative energy they show you because they don't have a life. Not to be rude, but it is normally the people who have nothing better to do who are the ones that make a big deal out of nothing.
Your life is worth spending with people who appreciate you.
If people don't serve your happiness, then there's no need for them to upset your mood because they are of no worth. Think about it - where's the sense? Will Smith puts it perfectly:
"Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions."
And with that said, let life be more upbeat and:
Be silent and smile
Life is better when you smile (I've said this once, I'll say it again!). Your life can especially be boosted with endorphins when you use smiling as a tool to fight off negative people.
If you're stuck in a negative person's presence, be it in a meeting or at work, then you can work it out too. Come up with ways that will question the negative energy by confusing them with your simple and silent reactions. Ok, this is hard, but practice makes perfect.
But how do people stay silent and smile without being rude? Keep eye contact and show them it's not beating you. Think of something else, or concentrate on a part of their face. This is a struggle too, I get it. I focus on my feelings inside and how I'm in control of who effects emotions to not let the negative energy draw deeper within me.
Or think of it like this: negative people get a kick out of making you angry, but you're bigger than that because let’s face it, in life:
“People who project negativity typically have low self-esteem. They feel bad about themselves, and their negativity is simply a reflection of those feelings.” - Hendrie Weisinger
Your life is worth much more than throwing the towel in and taking shit off people, and wasting your time, day or life over the way it makes you feel. I took this woman's negative energy on (something I'm working on) and it overwhelmed me, causing me to cry. Within an hour, after talking to my boyfriend and best friend, and going on a walk I decided it wouldn’t ruin my day! Oila. Perspective and actions put to the test. I also stayed silent (although I could've easily started shouting), but smiling is so natural to me, so much so people think I am more sarcastic than I make out to be (that’s a mystery!).
Your day cannot be ruined by someone’s negativity if you don’t let it and be like a penguin from Madagascar who says: “Smile and wave my friend, smile and wave.” (If you don’t know that quote, you must go and watch the film right now!)
Now there is no need to cry or collapse over negative people, but be strong in your confidence and optimism. Show them kindness by smiling, because I am sure some situations don’t allow kindness to be practised very easily - smiling is the simplest I would say!
Another simple way to not let negative people ruin your day is to:
Take a deep breath in and out
I've said it before, I'll say it again: the breath is key. Your breath is your best friend and can bring back hope within an instant because it has the power to pounce on the present moment and bring you back to sanity and serenity.
Anger arises when negative people are out to ruin your day. Anger is a normal human emotion and reaction in this situation, so try and control it with the breath. Aristotle says:
“The man who is angry at the right things and with the right people, and, further, as he ought when he ought, and as long as he ought is praised.”
We all get angry, especially with negative people that try to ruin your day, but don’t dismay! The breath is your best friend and can bring you back to knowing “everything is OK.” This is what I reminded myself after being spoken to rudely by the woman. I put things into perspective and thought: she doesn’t enjoy her job and isn’t happy so has to let it out on others.
By reflecting and re-engaging with the situation, be it big or small, you can tackle the control over your emotions. And breathe. Take a big breath in and a big breath out - something I always encourage during classes as a yoga teacher in Berlin! During the breath, bring back awareness and acceptance of where you are at and who you are. I find it harder to do when not in a yoga class environment, of course, but there is always space for you to gather yourself - I took myself away from the desk to an empty bench and shed a tear or few before thinking “get a grip!”.
I then breathed for a few minutes before leaving the premises (and offices infested full of negative people!). Know where you stand at the end of the day by tapping into self-awareness through the breath. It will release your negative energy, and nurture the mind.
Don't let people ruin your day when you have control over your breath at any time of the day. You can bounce back to being you by taking a moment or two to observe your emotions. This is a strategy that reinforces positive feelings to return because when you are surrounded by or shouted at by negative people, it is hard not to mirror those feelings, I feel you.